Have you ever set out to improve in an area of your life and noticed that when things start to go well, you do something to stop the flow of success? You could unknowingly find reasons for self-sabotage. This happens when one part of you desires progress while another clings to old habits that serve a purpose.
It may happen at a time when you see yourself losing weight, eating healthier, going to the gym more, and you see things headed in the right direction. Part of you is happy and proud of this change. But when it occurs too quickly, you find yourself torn between this new, unfamiliar person and the one who’s predictable and familiar with the old ways of doing things.
Suddenly, the fear of change takes over, and you return to the same old habits you’re working so hard to change. If you were going to the gym every other day, you may stop abruptly. If you choose nutritious foods that give you energy, you might start eating the opposite, skipping meals or binging. This may occur under three scenarios you might not be aware of.
Scenario #1 – There’s always something else that comes up you need to handle.
You’re on your way for a run or to the gym. You finish putting on your shoes and head out the door when you remember you forgot to stop at the cleaners, or your car is filthy and needs a wash.
It could be anything you tell yourself at that moment is more important.
If you find yourself starting to come up with reasons for not doing what you’re trying to accomplish, think about what purpose these reasons for not doing what you set out to do is serving in your life.
Scenario #2 – Giving in to get acceptance from family and friends.
You may be at a party or get-together with plenty of chips, fries, doughnuts, and all the tasty comfort food you’re trying to avoid. You’re surrounded by friends or family members enjoying themselves while filling their plates with these foods.
You’re trying to fill your plate with fruits and veggies, but ignoring the comments is hard. “What’s the big deal?” You can work it off later.” “Give yourself a break!” So, you walk over to the chips, hot dogs, and doughnuts to avoid a disagreement or disappointing them.
Scenario #3 – You have been perfect, so it’s time for a treat.
There’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to your favorite dessert or snack now and then. However, the treat you give yourself should not take a few steps back from what you’re trying to accomplish.
So, if you notice your clothes slowly begin to fill tight again from these treats. Or, if you get on the scale and the weight loss has stopped, you need to reexamine the intentions behind these treats.
Sometimes, when things are going unexpectedly well and change is happening fast, there is a sense of losing balance. You like who you see in the mirror but still need to become accustomed to the new version of who you are becoming.
Giving yourself treats consistently for being good eventually stops the progress and flow of success. When you’re unaware of how past behaviors have helped you, it’s common to feel like a hamster on a wheel, repeating them.
In conclusion, self–sabotage may help you find a balance and ease that sudden, unexpected fear of change for a moment. But remember that success requires resilience. To create powerful habits that keep you moving forward, first, you must make peace with the emotions and reasons holding you back.
Accepting these emotions as a friend trying to teach you the intentions behind your old ways of reacting to a situation is the first step to a more permanent change.
If you repeatedly find yourself in any or all of the above scenarios, getting some guidance to explore what’s getting in the way of what you want might be helpful. Although the journey of exploration may not always be easy, the result is always worth the effort.